See John write

Here’s a great self portrait by Elizabeth on our road trip to Seth’s baptism. Don’t you love the glasses? She takes after her Aunt Tiffany.

Also, we went up to Rexburg and surprised our niece/cousin Heather Nilsen.

Here is a great shot of Josh at one of his band concerts. (He’s the handsome percussionist in the back in the middle.) His band teacher is going to schedule a percussion only concert in the near future. We’ll keep you posted.

Nate and I spent some time in Grandfather’s woodshop cutting and sanding his pinewood derby car. We were very pleased with the look of the car. The performance of the car? Well, maybe next year.

Here’s the finished product. At least it looks fast.

And this is Matt with his favorite toy in the whole world, “Ruffy.” Nate purchased Ruffy in the dollar section at Target. He’s missing an eye and has had back surgery twice to keep his guts from spilling out. But, wow, does that boy love that dog!

Today, I want to write a post. But the problem, you see, is that I have no idea what to write about.

So I invite you to wander with me through my mind.

Snow has one simple job. Fill up the reservoirs. That’s it. Just do it and I’ll happily deal with a few nasty commutes. But is snow doing its freaking job this year? I think not.

Yesterday, was yet another near miss on the John-Crowley-advancing-his-career roller coaster. Yet another “We really think you’re great, but …” response on a great opportunity. I don’t know what I’m supposed to learn from all these close calls. Well, to be brutally honest, I do think I know the lesson. I just don’t want to learn it.

Here’s the lesson: If I really want to grow my career, I need to get a graduate degree. Preferably an MBA. And I’m kicking myself because a couple years ago Justin called me up and asked if I wanted to get an MBA together. I didn’t think I had the time to do it so I kindly declined.

Or maybe I should just kick my writing into high gear and get my novel finished and get out there and get it published and make the best-seller list and get a nice contract with a publishing company and collect royalties for the rest of my wonderful life. I mean how hard could that be?

Josh gave a great talk on Sunday about preparing for General Conference. One quote he shared challenged us to write down a question we have before conference. Then pray that the brethren will be inspired to answer the question. Then expect an answer and listen to the speakers like you expect an answer. It has lead me to some deep introspection this week and an anticipation of conference that I haven’t had in a long time.

Last night at the pinewood derby, I had confirmed again that some dads must have a secret for getting those dang axles perfectly straight. I don’t get it. Hard as I try, they always seem to be a little off and Nate’s poor car would be dead even with everyone at the bottom of the ramp. But then almost everyone else would glide so smoothly, pulling ahead by the finish line. Does anyone know this secret? Maybe Matt will stand a chance if I practice building pinewood derby cars for the next three years.

Aren’t you glad you don’t live inside my mind? Kind of a nutty place. Thanks for visiting.

Some of you may recall that in my youth I was fascinated by super heroes. In third grade, Derek Smith and I used to write our own super hero comic books.

So the other day, I was very excited to find this website that through a series of very scientific questions can tell you which super hero you are! It’s awesome. Here are my results and the link to discover your own secret powers.

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 90% Robin 82% Spider-Man 65% Green Lantern 65% Supergirl 60% Wonder Woman 55% The Flash 55% Iron Man 45% Batman 40% Hulk 35% Catwoman 20%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

In two weeks, CBS’s coverage of the NCAA tournament will come to an end. And after the champion is crowned, CBS will roll the highlights of the tournament set to the song “One Shining Moment.”

At the end of the tournament last year, I got thinking about that song. They’ve been using it for years now. Eventually, it is going to need to be replaced. Someone is going to need to write that song. Why not me? I asked myself. So here is my attempt at some song lyrics that could become the next “One Shining Moment.”

Heroes

It’s a contest of wills
a test of the heart
It will ask you to give
everything that you’ve got

The battle’s in chaos
put strength against strength
It will ask you to reach
beyond all that you thought

CHORUS:
Giants and heroes
Rising above, finding more
Giants and heroes
The prize that you reach for
Giants and heroes
Strike the champion’s pose

The crowd will still look
for fear in your eyes
They will ask you to prove
that courage can’t be bought

In a moment, a flash
you find you’ve got more
The game will drive you to
find, find strength you forgot

CHORUS

It’s a contest of wills
A test of the heart
Face yourself when you give
everything that you’ve got

And when you look around—
The last one standing
Hold your head high
Look them all in the eye
You’ll know the battle was won
Like it was meant to be fought

CHORUS

© 2007 John Crowley. All Rights Reserved.

I glanced around the room. She motioned toward a green sofa that sadly sagged in the middle. The end table was covered with stacks of newspapers. In one corner was a small tv.

As she closed the door, I made my way to the sofa and carefully lowered myself down. I could feel the springs under the badly worn cushion groan as I leaned back into the scratchy fabric.

She sat down in a wooden chair directly across from me. Her back was toward the front window and the little light that filtered through made it almost impossible for me to make out any detail of her face. She was a large woman with a head of unruly strawberry blonde hair that curled in every direction. She twisted a strand of hair with a stubby finger as she shifted her weight uncomfortably in the chair.

I waited for her to say something, but the moments dragged by in silence. Looking around at the carpet, I noticed it was the same dark green as the sofa. But it was so threadbear and filthy that it looked almost black.

My chest began to feel tight and my eyes itched. Suddenly, I was incredibly uncomfortable.

“What!” I blurted out.

“You’re not sleeping,” she said to me in a voice that seemed too calm.

“What is that supposed to mean? You said you needed help.”

“You know my brother, right?”

“Well, I’ve met him,” I answered as I shifted and tilted my head to try to see her face.

“He’s trapped,” she said but her voice bore no sign of urgency or panic.

“Trapped? Where? In what?”

She leaned forward and suddenly I could see her pale blue eyes. They were red and swollen. She spoke in a whisper that was barely audible. “Underground.”

It was more than a decade ago. It was a Saturday. It was Saturday evening. Janet and I looked at each other in panic. “Tomorrow is Easter.”

It had snuck up on us. How could this have happened? Christmas could never sneak up on us. How could we let Easter, the celebration of the very reason that Christmas has any meaning at all, become so casual, so small, so much like an afterthought?

And so it was, an idea was born. Spring Thanksgiving. A mark to the beginning of the season. An event, a circle on the calendar, an hour or two dedicated to never, ever letting Easter sneak up on me again.

Saturday my home was filled with most of my family (minus those living too far away who were sorely missed). It was noisy. The food was amazing. The laughter abundant. I ate until I was stuffed. I visited and shared. I watched a little March Madness basketball. It truly felt like a holiday. I couldn’t have been happier.

Thank you to all those who have helped me keep my promise to myself. I hope that in some small way your Easter celebrations are a little more focused, a little more in keeping with the significance of all that Easter Sunday represents.

“God be thanked for the matchless gift of His Divine Son.” –The Living Christ

Happy Easter!

The window was open all night. This morning the playful sounds of songbirds floated into my bedroom. I climbed out of bed to feel the freshness of Spring in the air.

It was full sensory euphoria. The long, grasp of winter has melted. Darkness has given way to light. The trees are ready to explode with green while the perennials are poking up through the moist soil.

The season of rebirth. Newness—can’t you smell it? Wonderful.

May the sun remind you of its awesome power today. And may you smile with me all day long.

No time to post today. Too busy figuring out my NCAA bracket picks.

Anybody have any tips on those tricky 8-9 games? How ’bout the upset special 5-12 games?

Go Cougars.

Welcome to March!

I love college basketball in March. There is something so magical about this game, this season, this “win or go home” format. I love the absolute joy and the utter despair of the nightly drama.

And this year, my (our—if you are similarly inclined) Cougars are right in the mix. It has been a long, long time since the Cougars were playing this well at this time of year. Who could’ve predicted this just two months ago when the starting point guard was kicked off the team? Who would have even thought that the basketball team might overshadow what the football team accomplished? It certainly is a good year to be a Cougars.

Now, tonight the Cougars play Wyoming. In our home, we don’t call them the “Cowboys.” We call them what they truly are, the “Drunken Mormon Haters.” I hope that we so thoroughly thrash them tonight that by the end of the game there’s not a single profanity-spewing DMH left in the stands by the end.

And here’s the really exciting part, I think if the Cougars win tonight and tomorrow they will recieve a great seed in the NCAA tournament. Many are talking/predicting as high as a 4 seed—which is HUGE! The Cougars might have a real shot at the Sweet 16. Two more weeks of Cougar basketball! That would be awesome.

So everyone join in with me. “Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, goooooooooooooo Cougars!”

(Oh, yeah, and the Aggies have a big game tonight against Reno. I guess that’s kind of a big deal too.)

Good Wednesday morning to you. A few weeks ago, I shared with you my love for alliteration. Today, let’s play a game called simile (a comparison using like or as). I provide the beginning of the similes and you finish them.

Ornery as a …

Lazy as a …

Rich as a …

Helpless as a …

Thirsty as a …

Wimpy as a …

So, who will be first?

Thank you all for your thoughts and fasting and prayers in behalf of Matthew yesterday. We felt of your strength throughout the day.

This morning I am reminded of the powerful story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. When they were found refusing to bow down to the gods of the Babylonians, they were threatened with being thrown into the fiery furnace. They stood bravely before the king and declared that they knew their God had the power to deliver them from the furnace.

But they didn’t stop there. They continued, “But if not …” If God chooses to bring us home, if God chooses to let your evil acts be carried out, if God has a purpose in our suffering … then we will not lose faith. We trust not only in God’s power but also in his wisdom.

Yesterday was a powerful spiritual day for us. I believe Matthew will receive divine help and healing as he strives to overcome his challenges. I know God has the power to do so. But I join my voice with those valiant youths from long ago, and also say “but if not …” No matter what happens, I will continue to trust in my Father in Heaven. Whether we see a miracle in Matthew’s progress or this continues to be a thorn in the flesh, I will not lose faith.

One of my favorite hymns in the whole world is “Be Still My Soul.” That happened to be the closing hymn of our sacrament meeting yesterday.

Be still my soul. The waves and winds still know his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still my soul. When change and tears are past, all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

OK, here’s the deal with the Fog of Dreams entries. It was just an opening scene that hit me one rainy day. So I wrote it. Then yesterday, I had the itch to add to it. I’m really not trying to torture you by holding back. There isn’t anything that’s being held back.

I’ll continue to add to it from time to time. Maybe one day it will get it’s own page so that it’s easier to find the whole thing. But until then, hopefully you’ll enjoy the bits and pieces as they  come.